Sunday, March 25, 2018
Happiness lies within self….. Lesson learnt Session….. I a woman in my thirties, dressed in a white top, pleated skirt, a golden belt and shoes. It seems I am a woman of status. I am single and rich but feel I have nothing despite having all the wealth. I am with a tall man in a very expensive three piece grey suit. He is smoking a pipe. He is sitting on a bench and I am lying down resting my head in his lap. I am listening and looking at him. I hope the promises he is making are true but deep inside me I know these too are empty and shallow. I had many short term relationships without expecting anything out of these relationships. I felt they were too shallow. I am at an event. I am wearing a long white gown, expensive jewels and carrying a fur coat. There is press and cameras are flashing. I am very comfortable with the attention. I am a famous Hollywood actress. I am rehearsing for a live musical performance on the stage. Now it is evening. The hall is full of people. I along with a group of girls am performing a song and dance musical. I am singing and dancing both. The girls are also dancing along with me. The tall man is there at the back stage. I get injured and hurt while performing [visible pain symptoms]. I have fracture. I return to work after my healing but they refuse me the work. A new girl has replaced me. My contract was cancelled after my injury. I am furious and angry. I am sad too because my short term fame would fade away soon. I met the performer who has replaced me. I mixed her drink with some substance which made her very sick. I treated her badly. I was hurt and held her responsible for my misery. I am drinking and smoking excessively. I am lonely and sad. I am dead. I died of overdose of drug and alcohol. My two domestic help discovered my body. They were not shocked as they were expecting this to happen. I was always drunk and not very nice to them either. Maybe they also felt relieved. There are just 2-3 persons at my funeral. I died a very sad and lonely death. I moved above, it was not easy for me to move up. I am in the white light. I feel I have to rest here. Master soul blessed me for a very long time and wanted me to have patience [visibly cried]. I felt it was a life wasted. I was very famous and wealthy but not happy ……...I was lonely! Reorientation…… I model in selective assignments. I participated in small pageants and have always won the crown. I never wanted to be in limelight and too much attention never excited me. I don’t remember taking compliments seriously ever. People found in me resemblance to various personalities both of the Bollywood and Hollywood .....But all this never flattered and made me happy. I inherit a sense of style and have been complimented for my unique style. I can be both at the heart of a gathering or feel extremely aloof even amongst most close ones. I turned down movie offers. I would get selected after auditions and would start praying God help me please out of it. Almost every person I have met told me I should take modeling and acting seriously but the immediate thought would be “They can’t even imagine what a sad and lonely life that would be”. The past life regression left a strange feeling. I was unhappy because I thought my fame will fade away soon and it resulted in self abuse. I was searching for happiness in the public applause. I never bothered to ponder over what I was doing for my own self and what did my lonely heart wanted. The measure of my achievement, success and satisfaction has been the public applause to my performances. It seems I carried it with me even in this life. I, as an actor, always performed to make sure everyone else is happy and pleased. It has been the only measure of my success. I never thought what I wanted. Lesson learnt; “Look for happiness within, search of happiness in your surroundings end up being alone and wasted.” Amazing! I feel so much at calm and peace today. I understand that all problems in life will not get resolved at a click but if a person becomes compassionate, non- judgmental, stop playing victim, do not hold others responsible instead look for solutions and answers within will help remain grounded and happy.
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